The Memorial Garden At Wilton Presbyterian Church

Introduction

“Ashes”

Let me lie under the lilac,
To rise each springtime drenched in its purple scent.
Let me go to the root of the maple,
Rising with sap that trembles at the vent.
Deep under the poplar I would rest,
But know my leaves were speaking at the crest.

Let me sink in the pond,
Sift deep in the needled grove
And rise in that warm piney smell
So sweet, so barely there,
Then enter at your nostrils till I own you all;

Or anywhere, anywhere, so I but touch
This brimming world unrimmed by bone and breath
That knows, by yearly dying, how to conquer death.

Ah, could we live like trees, would we conquer, too?
Sink me here, and there, and maybe I shall learn.
Then I’ll speak to you from the poplars, when it’s my turn.
--Unknown 1 July 1964

The Memorial Garden was the first sanctuary Wilton Presbyterians built on Presbyterian-owned land and it continues as a sanctuary for individuals and families and for the congregation.

It was in the early 1990’s when Janet Sprout and Jean Terrell shared their dream of a place where their ashes might be interred with simple markers to remember their names after they died. Elders Barbara Quincy and Vivian Doak, then Ruling Elders, took up this dream and--with Janet, Jean, and other WPC members--scoured Presbyterian-owned property on the WEPCO campus for an appropriate setting. Since most of these places were overgrown with shrubs, weeds, and thorns, it was difficult to imagine where such a place might be or what such a place might look like. But under Barbara and Vivian’s steady leadership and with the assistance of Paddy Hoyt, a landscape designer, the current location of the Memorial Garden was proposed, consultations with St. Matthew’s commenced, and permissions from the Second Taxing District and the Town of Wilton were secured. Then Vivian, and a host of volunteers, went to work clearing the brush from both trees and ground, leveling the ground, and creating the pathway that encircles the markers of those whose ashes are interred in the Garden. The highlight of this first chapter of the Memorial Garden was its dedication following morning worship on Sunday, October 12, 1997. To see Vivian's comments made at the Dedication, click here.

Since then, Beth Mason has taken up the mantle of leadership and has developed the Garden, again with the help of many volunteers, not only as a sacred place of repose for ashes of the deceased but as a Memorial Garden for living plants and trees, living people, and living animals and birds, even a family of turkeys!. Trees, bushes, flowers and ferns have been added to provide shade, color, and texture. Benches have been added to provide places of quiet reflection and meditation. Congregational worship services are regularly held in the Garden at sunrise on Easter Sunday and on summer Sundays in July each year.

The Purpose of the Garden

The purpose of the Memorial Garden is to provide a quiet place in a natural setting dedicated to the remembrance of loved ones whose ashes are interred there. The Garden may be used by members of Wilton Presbyterian Church, their immediate family members, other relatives or by friends of the congregation.

The Setting of the Garden

The garden is on the western perimeter of the parking lot, and it consists of three primary elements.

Named markers

Bronze plaques, 6” by 3”, on a granite based, 8” x 5” x 4”, mark the interment sites and are randomly placed until they create a circle and spoke pattern inside the circular pathway. Each marker lists the name of the deceased and their birth and death dates. They are all of the same type, with each marker buried within 1-2” of ground level, symbolizing our equality as human beings before God.

An urn or receptacle, if used, must be of a type that is biodegradable. Ashes may be scattered among plantings if that is preferred. God created us from the earth at birth, and to the earth our bodies return at death.

Although fresh flowers may be laid at the burial site, no plants, statuary or other items may be added to the Garden without permission of the Memorial Garden Committee. The Garden, like all of life, is fundamentally not about us; its focus is on God’s goodness and beauty, grace and peace.

Those people whose markers are placed in the Garden at this time include:

• Irving Rittenhouse Halsey ( June 27, 1899 – April 24, 1964)
• Charles Gray Wilson (March 18, 1939 – December 19, 1995)
• Warren Owen Hart (May 10, 1938 – February 15, 1997)
• Jane Gillespie Agnew (June 21, 1920 –March 2, 1997)
• Theodore Emil Krumm (January 6, 1929 – March 13, 1998)
• Rodger William Evans (June 8, 1954 –January 6, 1999)
  
• Janet E. Sprout (March 20, 1912- January 24, 1999)
  
• Katherine Lockwood Halsey (August 31, 1900 – November 19, 2002)
  
• Charles D. Agnew (April 14, 1915 – December 10, 2002)
  
• Eleanor Nicholson Havill (October 29, 1932 – May 23, 2005)
  

Plantings

The most important of the trees, shrubs, and flowers in the Garden are, of course, those placed, planted, and nourished by God. The stately white pines preceded the Garden and still tower over it and provide its principal shade; but one can also behold seedlings and young trees (not all of them white pine, either) God is nourishing for future generations.

There are a number of plantings that have been given by members and friends of WPC in remembrance of loved ones.

• The lilacs at the northern edge of the Garden were given in memory of Edward Praeger Neyland, husband of Mary Jo Neyland.
• The Japanese maple tree sheltering the sign at the Garden entrance was given in memory of Theodore Emil Krumm, husband of Marianne Krumm.
• Dogwood trees have been given in memory of
  • Fifi Ackle, mother of Adele MacGregor
  • Kent Comegys, father of Sally Carta
  • Elizabeth Davis, mother of Laurie Davis
  • Arthur Steven Gerquest, father of Sonja Gerquest;
  • Helen Graybill, mother of David Graybill
  • Ralph Kelly, father of Ann White
  • Louise Reineke, mother of Anne Clarke.
• A shadblow tree near the split-rail fence was given in memory of Ann Kelly, mother of Ann White.

And many others plantings, as well as continuing care and maintenance of the Garden, have been provided by gifts of and plants by congregation members and of contributions to the Memorial Garden Fund as well as an income from a gift to The Wilton Presbyterian Endowment Fund given in honor of Charles Agnew. These plantings include:

Shrubs:

Perennials and groundcovers:

Bulbs

Sitting places

There are three stone benches and two wooden benches in the Garden. Both wooden benches were given in memory of Sinclair Williams, wife of Bruce Williams. For summer worship services, there are some chairs provided, although many in the congregation bring their own “sit-upons”.

For Further Information

Requests for interment may be obtained through the church office:

Contributions to the Memorial Garden may be forwarded to:

Beth Mason, Leader, Memorial Garden Committee
Wilton Presbyterian Church
48 New Canaan Road Wilton, CT 06897

Conclusion

The Memorial Garden is a place where we remember and honor our forebears and families, without whose dedication we would simply not be here. Though their lives have stopped and are now silent and at rest, the stones and the trees still shout out God’s Good News for this world…AND for the next. Each has its own voice as, individual as the name of the person identified on the marker or nestled in the tree. We invite you to visit the Memorial Garden. Sit down on one of the benches or on the ground. Rest awhile and then wait for the stones and trees to speak. And even if you don’t hear them, you will hear the birds sing or feel the breeze which, for all we know, may be someone speaking back to you.