| Home Page > Sermon Index > November 11, 2007 |
“When It Happens”
We all know it happens. It happens to everyone--to leaders of all types and in all kinds of human organizations; and to followers of those leaders, too; and to people in-between who are neither leaders nor followers, but just folks. And the more severe the changes—or the crises—of the times you live, the more severe it happens. The only question is when…not if, but when? And when it happens, what do you do? How do you deal with it?
The “it” of which I speak is criticism. Criticism happens. We know that, of course. It is so much a part of just living that it is really no surprise. And yet, when it happens to you, it can feel like being ambushed, catching you unawares, blind-sided.
Criticism comes from all kinds of directions and in all kinds of flavors.
Criticism comes from other people—as in school report cards that are due out next week or in end of the year performance reviews that are coming due for many soon. But for many of those pale those criticisms pale next to personal gossip that strike and sting deeper because they often come from people with whom you have worked closely or have been genuine friends.
Sometimes the criticisms are indirect and closed. They happen around you but are rarely directed to you. They come from people who prefer to fly under the radar, not wanting you (of all people) to know they are being critical of you. These criticisms thrive in the shadows, often hidden behind curtains of seeming respect. They are in the grapevines, in the rumor mills…which, of course, makes them particularly frustrating and hurtful.
But sometimes the criticisms are quite direct and open; difficult for others to express—and, even then, never completely-- and certainly difficult for you to hear. But they do live in the light; they do breathe open air; and they are, by definition, easier for you to address. At the least you know what these criticisms are and have an opportunity to deal with them.
But criticism doesn’t just come from the outside—from other people. Criticism also comes form the inside—from inside yourself. We all know how broken and fragmented we are inside ourselves: how fall we far short not just of the glory of God, but of the far more modest ideals we set for ourselves. Calm, poised, and so carefully self-controlled on the outside, you know how fragile and vulnerable you are inside yourself…how close you live to the edge of hurt that despairs and of anger that explodes. Why else are you so driven to pleasing people and surprised at how far you might go to avoid conflict.
Criticism happens. And so what do you do? How do you handle criticism when it comes…as it surely does to all of us?
The first and last—and maybe the only—thing you do is to not let your critics control your agenda, control you. Let me say that again: the first, last and everything in between thing you do is not let your critics control what you do or, even more, who you are.
This is not, of course, to say that you dismiss the truths in what they have to say, especially if their criticism is fair…like fertilizer that is gentle enough to foster growth without destroying the roots. Or if their criticism is concrete, if it is specific. Or if their criticism is confirmed by others whom relationships—and whose spirit—you trust. Criticism is often a door to personal or professional growth.
But even more important than hearing the criticisms is to not let the critics become your primary focus.
And so we come back to the question: In response to criticism what do you, as Christians, as people of God, do?
The first thing is to find, as Paul puts it to the Thessalonians in the New Testament lesson this morning, your “stand firm” place. Your “sticking place.” Your secure, unafraid, sanctuary place. Which place, of course, not so much in relation to other people (whose relationships can blow hot and cold) as in relation to your God (whose temperature is always just right). Granted, it may take time to find this place. But if you are persistent and patience enough it your searching for this place, this place will find you.
But how do you find this place? Let me suggest two ways.
First, read your Bible. The Bible is God’s Word. That is true. But it is not the whole truth. The Bible is also God’s Word for you. That’s what make the Bible God’s living Word. As in “living” in you. So it is your Bible.
In your Bible read how Moses took a lot of heat in his leadership of the Hebrews on the other side of the Red Sea, when they were wandering in the wilderness—and not just for a couple of days or weeks or even a few years, but for forty years—for a whole generation.
In your Bible read how Jesus suffered criticism for being true to who he was and what he believed God called him to do.
In your Bible read how Paul was constantly defending himself against his critics.
And, perhaps above all, read the Psalms in your Bible when you’re feeling betrayed and hurt by the criticism of others. First, read your Bible. It contains a wealth of comfort and encouragement in dealing with criticism by others.
And second, “spread (the criticism of you) out before the Lord.” That’s what King Hezekiah did when he received a letter from a tough critic called Sennacherib.
Hezekiah received the letter from the hand of the messengers and read it; then Hezekiah went up to the house of the Lord and spread it before the Lord. And Hezekiah prayed before the Lord, and said, “O Lord, God of Israel, who are enthroned above the cherubim, you are God, you alone of all the kingdoms of the earth;’ you have made heaven and earthy. Incline your ear, O Lord, and hear; open your eyes, O Lord, and see; hear the words of Sennacherib, which he has sent to mock the living God.” (2 Kings 19.14-16)
Pray to the Lord wherever you are. Pray to the Lord whatever you feel. But pray to the Lord. And keep at the praying. Just keep praying. Don’t give up praying…and the listening that goes with the praying. Even if God does not bring you the answer your half-cocked and halting prayer wants, God will bring you himself. Which, of course, when you are dealing with the criticism others are making—and those you make of yourself—is what you are really praying for—God’s presence.
Read your Bible. Spread the criticisms “out before the Lord.” And in so doing, find your “stand firm” place, the place deep down deep inside yourself where you and God know one another and stick together. That is the first thing you do.
And the second thing you do is to persevere doing what you do best. This is just another way of saying: Do not let your critics control what you do or who you are. Listen to them, yes. Learn from them, yes. And never cede control to them.
In your “stand firm” place, in your safe-with-God place, you know it is not you who have called God but God who has called you to be the person you are and to the work you do. And you know it is God who has given you whatever gifts you need to be who you are and to do what you do. So, out of this sanctuary place, you go into the world to be who you are—not what others want you to be, but who God has created and shaped and grown you to be—and to do what you do best—not what others clamor for you to do, but the just right thing God calls you to do. As Joseph Campbell said over and over and over again, “follow your bliss.” You will never please others all the time. You know that. (Hey, I’m lucky if I please some people some of the time!) So follow the bliss you also know God has implanted and will never remove from you. The world tells us that negative attitudes are much more contagious than positive ones. Even in church, it is not hard to convince Christian leaders that they—or somebody else--are not doing well; we are all too aware of our shortcomings. But the Gospel of God tells not so much of our sins against God as of God’s hope for us. For what other reason than hope do we Christians believe in the resurrection of Jesus who was not only criticized but crucified?
When I was a young buck in the ministry with more zeal than wisdom in what I was doing and more heat than light in what I was saying, an elder colleague of mine said, as I remember it, “David, you’ve got but one sermon to preach in your ministry, no matter how long it is. You will preach it a thousand different ways, in many different settings, but it will still be but one sermon.” And, decades later, I know how right he was.
There is but one sermon I preach. One sermon you preach, too. (You have your pulpits, too, you know.) And there are a thousand stories to illustrate that one sermon. But each of us, I suspect, has one story that illustrates that one sermon really well. I have one, don’t you? Mine is about a man who knew “stand firm,” “sticking” place inside himself well enough to learn from the march of time and change and the criticism it brought. It’s among my most beloved. Many of you know it. And some of it you can tell as well as I. But here it goes…again.
Early in the last century, in the days when the great fleets
of sailing ships went out of
One day, however, the march of time and change caught up with this ancient mariner. His previous record of successes did not matter. The insurance company whose agents covered the vessels of Captain Hull’s employers declared that they would no longer write a policy for any ship whose master did not meet certain formal standards of education in the modern technology of navigation. Captain Hull’s superiors could understand this new rule. But they were at a loss to know how to approach the proud man whose life had been spent on the bridge and tell him that he must either go back to school and change or retire. After some nervous consultations among themselves, they decided to meet the problem head on. Three of the company’s top executives waited on Captain Hull and put their dilemma as tactfully as possible.
To their amazement the old fellow responded
enthusiastically. He has, it appeared, always wanted to know something about “technology”
and “science,” and he was entirely willing to spend several months studying it.
So the arrangements were made. Eleazar Hull went to
school, studied hard, and graduated near the top of his class. Then he retuned
to his ship, set out to sea, and was gone for two years.
When the skipper’s friends heard that he was putting into port again, they met him in an informal delegation at the docks. They inquired eagerly how it felt to navigate by the book after so many years of doing it the other way
“It was wonderful,” Captain Hull responded. “Whenever I wanted to know my position, I’d go to my cabin, get out all the charts, work through the proper equations, and set a course with mathematical precision. Then I’d go up on deck, get the drift of the sea, listen to the wind in the riggin’, and take a long look at the stars. And correct my computations for error. (Bill Muehl, All the Damned Angels)
When you are the object of criticism, what do you do? How do you respond? First, get th drift of your sea, listen to the wind in your riggin, and take a long look at the stars shining down upon you. And the correct your critic’s computations for error by persevering in doing what you are blessed to do best.
Praise the Lord.
The Lord’s name be praised.
Amen.